Fuck you, Xbox...

I don't have anything against newbies. I really don't. We've all been there before. We've done the stupid things (diaga in a clump of Thread Leeches, anyone?). We've all asked the stupid questions ("wtf is provoke?").

Hopefully, we only asked them once.

Ever since the 360 release, I've helped a lot of Question Mark Kids. Tossed out gil here and there, taught them the mechanics of the AH, spell menu, job abilities...the works. I'll always help when asked. What can I say, I'm just that nice.

It's when I have to explain things three and four+ times that I start getting annoyed.

Case and point: Yuhtunga Jungle.

*shiver*

I'm seeking for a party on my blm. I'm tired of having a gimped sub. I'm a permanent pink mage...but it might be time to finally level blm to par. Despite the fact that I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns.

So I airship over, snag some pineapple to juice, and head outside. No invite. As a rdm main, this irritates me.

So I decide that if I'm going to sit in the jungle, I might as well kill shit. I pull a T mandy and start sleepnuking. And whaddya know, I have an audience. 2 level 26 rdms, shocked that I'm soloing and winning.

Hehe. Newbies. They're so cute.

A few seconds later, I get a tell from one of them, who says that she wants to team up. Okay, I'll mini-manaburn a bit. That's always fun.

(Slaneyder) Okay, here's how it works: I'll pull the mob and sleep it. Then I'll yell out a time, like 12:45. When the clock hits that time, you guys cast Blizzard, I'll cast Aeroga. {Understood}?
(rdm1) k
(rdm2) ok.


So I pull, sleep it, and they both start meleeing it.

Strike one.

(Slaneyder) Disengage, disengage! I'll sleep it.
Slaneyder starts casting Sleep on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora is asleep.
Rdm2 starts casting Fire on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora takes 25 points of damage.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora is no longer asleep.
(Slaneyder) Stop! Stop! Sleep it!
Rdm2 starts casting Sleep on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora is asleep.
Rdm1 starts casting Blizzard on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
(Slaneyder) QUIT!

By some miracle, we managed to kill it. I don't know how. I'm not sure I want to know. Either way, it ended up with us getting 70 xp. Coolah coolay.

So I explain it again. Full detail this time. Hell, I even tell them I'll type '3 2 1' instead of the timed nuke method. That's Sesame Street simple. It's Barney Fun Time simple. They say they understand now, so I pull again.

Slaneyder starts casting Sleep on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora is asleep.
Rdm1 starts casting Fire on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
(Slaneyder) >.o;;
Rdm2 starts casting Sleep on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
Rdm2's Sleep has no effect on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora takes 27 damage.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora is no longer asleep.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora hits Rdm1 for 22 damage.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora hits Rdm1 for 31 damage.

Somehow, we managed to kill that one too. It involved a manafont, though.

Apparently I'm a glutton for punishment, because I tried again.

Rdm2 hits the Yuhtunga Mandragora for 4 damage.
Rdm1 hits the Yuhtunga Mandragora for 6 damage.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora hits you for 24 damage.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora hits you for 21 damage.
Slaneyder starts casting Sleep on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora is asleep.
Rdm2 starts casting Dia on the Yuhtunga Mandragora.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora receives the effect of Dia.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora is no longer asleep.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora hits you for 25 damage.
Critical Hit! The Yuhtunga Mandragora hits you for 43 damage.
Rdm1 starts casting Cure II on Slaneyder.
Slaneyder recovers 82 HP.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora hits Rdm1 for 23 damage.
The Yuhtunga Mandragora hits Rdm1 for 20 damage.

/pcmd leave

Zone.

God, I hate the jungles...