Ni hao

>>Podan : So. Has Frenzy claimed Ulli over the gilsellers again recently?
Podan>> LOL
Podan>> You don't want to know...
>>Podan : Clearly, I do, because I'm asking about it.
Podan>> Seriously Slane...
Podan>> You don't want to know.
>>Podan : Enough with the dramatics.
Podan>> Okay okay...
Podan>> Well, you know how I got lost in sky?
Podan>> And you tried to help me find Ulli camp?
>>Scynscapa : Yeah, because you're a dumbshit navagator?
Scynscapa>> What?
>>Scynscapa : MT
Podan>> And you kept leading me to fountains and telling me they were teleporters?
>>Podan : Details.
Podan>> Yeah well, I gave up and went farming in Zitah instead.
Podan>> Somehow I ended up with alliance leader.
>>Podan : What does this have to do with Ulli again?
Podan>> Well see, they got claim and killed it...
>>Podan : Right, I knew that.
Podan>> And I MIGHT have logged out to mule right before the Autumnstone autolooted.
>>Podan : ...
>>Podan : Dude.
>>Podan : Frenzy's the first shell to claim over the T-nking monopoly in like 3 months.
>>Podan : And you lost the stone so you could play on a mithra?
Podan>> Well, we still got the claim and kill...
Podan>> Just, y'know...not the drop.
>>Podan : You're dead to me.

Oh no you di'ent!

For those who are new to reading this blog (which I'm still kind of shellshocked about. I have readers? wtf...), I'm in a particularly awesome linkshell that goes by the name of Divine.

There's Divine, which is Sky/Social/Main hub. It's where everybody hangs out when not doing events, and/or in sky. There's there's Dedication, which is Sea/Limbus. And finally, there's DivineAlliance, which is a great little dynamis shell.

Well...not so little anymore. We average about 55 people per run, which is only 9 shy of the cap. It was rough going for awhile.... We had done a few runs with a shell called Manafont, and when they broke up, a lot of their members came over to us. As Seraph likes to say about his old shell MF..."We sucked."

And they did.

But after a rocky start with these new members, things have finally come together. Runs are smooth again, we win every one we go in. Even better...everybody has Xarcabard access.

DA has never run Xarcabard before. After Tibbetts coerced Eliseo into agreeing, he set up a Dynamis-Xarc run for this Friday. Which, if you're paying attention at all, is today.

Yay.

So I log on and expect to see some excited babbling in the main shell. I was fully prepared to join in with the 'Oh man oh man this is gonna be AWESOME' sentiments that were undoubtably being thrown.

Wrong.

(Divinitie) FOODMONSTERS CAN KISS MY ASS!
(Slaneyder) 0o
(Cheesethief) Uh-oh.
(Slaneyder) What's wrong Divi?
(Divinitie) They're going to enter Xarcabard before we do tonight.
(Flixx) (Um...) Aren't we on the calendar?
(Divinitie) Yeah.
(Visionz) But that'll mess up our Monday dynamis too!
(Slaneyder) What whores!!
(Tibbetts) I don't want to talk about it...
(Tibbetts) Everybody just quit freaking out until Eliseo gets on.
(Tibbetts) We'll explain the situation to him and see what he wants to do.

Yeah, right.

Immediately, Divi started talking about shelling out an extra million for a glass and blocking their entrance. Tibbs liked the idea, I thought it was downright gleeful. Some had issues with it, though. Like, the double entry fee, for one.

Now, I've been seeing Eadrick/Nick for three years now. He was in Foodmonsters for a long, long time, and he used to lead their Xarcabard runs. He's a WoWer now, but try not to hold that against him.

[16:51] Youneek07: Foodmonsters just stole Xarcabard from Divine
[16:52] Youneek07: Jerks aren't even on the calendar.
[16:52] Youneek07: Hope you're happy!!
[17:02] Eadrick22: Wha?
[17:09] Youneek07: FM doesn't even run on Fridays...
[17:10] Youneek07: They're Tuesday/Saturday
[17:10] Youneek07: Why the hell are they stealing our Friday?
[17:10] Eadrick22: planning around the weekend
[17:13] Youneek07: I'm gonna rip Vygun a new asshole
[17:13] Eadrick22: why vygun?
[17:14] Youneek07: He's the one talking to Divi
[17:18] Eadrick22: relax, fm isnt doing dynamis tonight
[17:19] Eadrick22: im talking to grifter now.
[17:20] Youneek07: Morracoo and a few other FMers are cuddled around the markings
[17:21] Eadrick22: dunno, grif just told me theyre not doing dynamis tonight.
[17:21] Youneek07: Well good.
[17:21] Youneek07: And...I find it oddly touching that you decided to talk to them for me
[17:21] Youneek07: Aww, I love you ^^
[17:21] Eadrick22: :O
[17:21] Eadrick22: didnt see the point in you getting all worked up if there was nothing to get worked up about
[17:23] Youneek07: Are you the reason they backed off, or were they going to cancel anyway?
[17:23] Eadrick22: i told grif divine was my gfs shell, so they probably wont push for it

Directly after, there was some interesting linkshell chat...

(Divinitie) They're not going afterall.
(Cheesethief) (Hmmm.)
(Divinitie) They just went from hot to cold all of a sudden.
(Slaneyder) Gee...I wonder what's up with that...?

Muhahaha.

Score one for Ead!

[17:26] Eadrick22: you know..
[17:26] Youneek07: ?
[17:26] Eadrick22: i could have them steal xarc just so you could come over tonight.
[17:26] Eadrick22: :P
[17:26] Youneek07: ...

Then again...maybe not.

Does not Imacompute

There are some things in life that I just don't understand. Like quantum physics. Dick Cheyney. Scientology. Small children. Sign language.

These are things I know I don't understand, and I don't even bother pretending. Really, what's the point? Do that, and you'll just make yourself look like a fool in the long run.

There's one thing that I really, really don't get though.

WHY does everybody think I'm a guy?!

I know, I know. There aren't a lot of girl gamers out there. The population of my demographic has been steadily climbing, but not fast enough in my opinion. Maybe if there were more of us floating around, then the sheer concept of a chick playing a video game might not make some of you fellas start bleeding from the ears.

I've tried a number of things to get my gender across. For instance, I changed from 'haha' to 'hehe.' Didn't work. People just thought I was soft-spoken. I put a picture up on ffxiplayers. Didn't work. Nobody checks it. I had Cheesethief make me a Lilac Corsage. Didn't work, my equip macros take it off too often. I made an 'I'm a little teapot' dance macro. Didn't work. People just thought I was gay.

Seriously. I had a 75 SMN ask me out on a date. When he found out I'm female, he said he threw up a little.

Take last night for instance. I was talking to my buddy Exil, comiserating about sky's RMT situation.

(Exil) Eh, what're ya gonna do...
(Slaneyder) Yeah...
(Slaneyder) It'll drive a girl crazy.
(Exil) O.O
(Slaneyder) ...Don't say it...
(Exil) You're a girl?!
(Slaneyder) ><;

That's a particularly fun example, considering I've known Exil for a long time...

Here's another.

(Slaneyder) Dude, why are you pulling Jnuns?!
(Slaneyder) They don't give any xp, and there are flies and imps all over the place.
(Rangeretard) My chat window ar big. I can't see htem.
(Slaneyder) Just run in a big loop around our camp! Pull as they pop.
(Rangeretard) yes master
(Slaneyder) Better than killing frogs, Kermit.
(Rangeretard) you callin me kermet? ur the green lsimey one.
(Summoner) Now now ladies, no name calling.
(Slaneyder) I actually AM a chick. What's his excuse?
Rangeretard>> wow, u a girl?!
Rangeretard>> asl?
Rangeretard>> do u have a pic?
>>Rangeretard : Just pull, you muppet bastard.

And then there are some that just refuse to believe.

(Linkhighlander) Dude, slaney isn't a girl
(Tibbetts) I talk to her on vent all the time. She's a girl, I promise.
(Linkhighlander) No, he's totally a dude.
(Slaneyder) ...
(Slaneyder) Am I butch or something?!
(Linkhighlander) Yes.
(Slaneyder) I hate you...
(Imacomputa) lol!

I think it's the hat, honestly. It's not like tarus aren't androgynous anyway...slap a big red pimphat on top of my head, and it not only makes me look like the leader of a prostitution ring, it also hides my character's ponytail.

Anyway...

If you see me on Carbuncle, don't call me 'man,' 'dude,' 'bro,' or whatever other crazy words you boys use to refer to each other. You might find a dagger in your spleen.

You can ask me to do the teapot dance, though.

I'm down with that.

Luck be a lady

Before sky last night, Cheesethief and I decided that we were going to go get his AF3 done. He's needed it for awhile, and I just found out the other day that he didn't have it.

Really now. I understand the whole 'not being able to find help' thing, but 10 levels later? That sucks. All he had to do was ask.

So we're running through Garliage, yadda yadda shout for gate breech, hooray two people I know, and we're through. We head towards the back of the zone where the AFNM's spawn is, when Cheese starts getting whacked in the back of the head by something.

(Cheesethief) wtf is hitting me?
(Slaneyder) I dunno. Let's kill it.
(Cheesethief) ok

I target the thing that's attacking him, sleepga the adds that he picked up, and go to work on the mob.

(Slaneyder) Wtf is he?
(Cheesethief) An NM apparently.
(Slaneyder) Wonder what it drops?
(Cheesethief) Let's find out.



What's this? A bat cape?

(Slaneyder) Is that worth anything?
(Cheesethief) No clue.
(Cheesethief) If it is, sell it and split?
(Slaneyder) Only if you don't want it.
(Cheesethief) Eh. Only 5 eva. It can't be worth much.
(Slaneyder) Yeah, it's not a great item.



It's official.

We win the internet.

{True Strike}

Divine Intervention

There are a few things you have to understand about FFXI if you want to play.

Number one:

Buying gil is bad for everybody. It makes inflation run rampant, and it will come back to bite you in the ass in the long run. Not to mention the fact that it's against the Terms of Service, so you run the risk of getting banned.

That should make you a sad panda.

Number two:

There are groups of people in the game whose sole and single purpose is to make gil. Lots, and lots, and lots of gil. These people then turn around and sell said gil to the yuppies who think they need it. Because that Kraken Club is just so fucking leet.

Right.

On Carbuncle, there are 2 main linkshells full of Gilsellers/RMTers. The one which is generally hated the most is Kindnessfriends.

What a pretty, happy name for a shell full of swine.

They're like roaches. For every one you see, there are three more hidden in the woodwork chewing on fecal matter or whatever it is that RMTards do on their time off.

Anyway, I was at the start of Ru'An Gardens when I saw a happy little message written in green.


(Skreeble) Well well, look who's up...
(Skreeble) Faust (Found it!)
(Linkhighlander) I don't see him.
(Skreeble) Trust me, he's there.
(Tonard) Faust?
(Slaneyder) Let's go get 'im.
(Tibbetts) k
(Eliseo) Kindnesswhores is up there too.
(Kinok) Girserrers.
(Norah) Bastards

I ran a search and found the whole gang. Tanking, Tbnking, Tcnking, Tdnking, Tenking, and Tfnking.

Tenking is my favorite. Sam65/War08.

lol.

We ran like our tails were on fire. Somehow, half of the group lagged behind, and it was just Me, Mallister, Link, and Skreeble left to get the claim and hold the fort.

And it would have worked too. It really would have. If it weren't for the fact that Faust spams Typhoon, and Link kept trying to kite it instead of letting it pound on him like a Paladin should. Long story short, we mini-wiped pretty hardcore.

And the T-nkings got the claim.

Bastards.


(Slaneyder) Get ready to steal that bitch.
(Eliseo) If their mages get hate, we're set.
(Skreeble) Why are they using Thunder I?
(Tibbetts) That's called hate control. Might wanna pay attention
(Tatix) (Burn)
(Peacekeeper) 55% and dropping
(Imacomputa) They got it...there's no way they're gonna wipe.
(Tibbetts) 30%, sigh.
(Slaneyder) God damnit.
(Aomizuchi) Just wait


That's about when a T-nking got overzealous and ThunderIV'ed for a good hunk of damage. Which made Faust angry, who ran into the room through the closed blue gate just outside of provoke range, and spammed Typhoon.

I've never seen so many tarus hit the ground so fast in my life.


(Tibbetts) I can't believe that just fucking happened.
(Eliseo) Get claim ffs!
(Linkhighlander) I got it!
(Skreeble) Zerg the bitch!
(Slaneyder) 22%!
Kinok: Thanks for doing all the work Kindnessfuckers!
(Slaneyder) Kinok, stop taunting the gilsellers.
(Kinok) Sorry.

Needless to say, Faust hit the ground pretty quickly and painlessly. Easiest Summerstone ever.


(Juib) Tcnking just threatened to call a GM on me.
(Yourmom) Rich
(Doominite) Too bad the GM petition service is down at the moment.
(Slaneyder) You know what that means...

Slaneyder starts casting Tractor on Tcnking.

(Juib) lmfao
(Juib) My turn

Juib starts casting Tractor on Tcnking.
Doominite starts casting Tractor on Tcnking.
Tibbetts starts casting Tractor on Tcnking.
Skreeble starts casting Tractor on Tcnking.

How many people can say that they've tractored all six of the T-nkings?

I can.

All in a day's work, my friend.

Whatev

Trael>> And for the record, it's okay to take random invites in Dunes/Qufim.
>>Trael : I hate randoms. The parties always turn out to be absolutely horrific.
Trael>> Slane's elitist wwww
>>Trael : :O
>>Trael : I am not!!
Trael>> You're refusing an invite from somebody because they didn't /tell you first?
Trael>> Sounds elistist to me
>>Trael : It's not elitism, it's not wanting to waste my time.
Trael>> So you don't take randoms because you don't want to help people learn.
>>Trael : I never said that either!
>>Trael : I've adopted 5 different newbies since the xbox release. I don't mind teaching.
Trael>> w
Trael>> Slaneylitism.
>>Trael : t(><)

I'm not an elitist, damnit.

I'm not!

And I was determined to prove Trael wrong.

Also, I've decided that Summoner is going to be my next job to 75. Following in Eadrick's footsteps, I suppose. I really love the class, and I don't mind mainhealing with it. Which is good, because chances are that's all I'll ever get to do before I cap it.

So I'm sitting outside the gates of Kazham on my Summoner, happy little green flag waving. You know, snickering to myself everytime somebody aggros a gob, decides to zone, and doesn't quite make it.

Random1 has invited you to join a party.

My fingers typed '/decline' before my brain had time to register what had actually happened. And then I flashed back to my conversation with Trael earlier...

Backspacebackspace...

/accept

(Slaneyder) Hello!
(Random1) hi
(Player2) (/wave)
(Player3) ok
(Slaneyder) I see you have a white mage already. Do you have a tank?
(Random1) no
(Random1) and jrunk has been afk for about 40 minutes.
(Random1) i gave u lead ok slane?
(Slaneyder) ...
(Random1) kick jrunk and find us a tank

Arrrrr.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. It's okay Slane, you can work with this. White mage, corsair, and an AFK mnk. This is workable, there's potential here...


>>JPaladin : (Hello!) (Party) (Do you need it?) @4, whm cor mnk smn.
JPaladin>> (I don't speak any English) (Good bye!)
>>Jpaladin : Truman will be reincarnated one day...you just wait, you jap piece of mud.
JPaladin>> (I don't know how to answer that question)

HAPPY THOUGHTS, Slane! It's just one more racist JP among the horde. You're used to it, you've seen it before, don't let it get to you! Try again!


>>JPninja : (Hello!) (Party) (Do you need it?) @4, whm cor mnk smn. (Party) (Long time).
JPninja>> (Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass). (English) (I don't have anything to give you).
>>JPninja : What, do we smell or something?!

(Random1) u found us a tank yet?!
(Slaneyder) ...
(Random1) hurry up b4 i kick u
(Slaneyder) I have leader, you fucking ignorant swine!
(Random1) lol so wat i can still kick u

omfg.

That's about when I yanked the power cord out of my router and faked a DC.

Dude, if wanting to avoid people like that is elitist, then yes, I'm a fucking elitist.

I admit it.

Trael, you win.

Chugga Chugga Woo Woo

Nobody ever claimed that getting a job to 75 was going to be easy. I don't recall anybody saying that it was going to be tremendously difficult either, but I defintiely remember somebody calling it "@#$%ing tedious."

I believe the latter is the best description I've seen to date.

I'd been at level 70 for awhile. Originally, I had planned to pause my Red Mage at the big Seven-Oh (after finally defeating Maat), to finish /blm /nin and /drk. But a rather fortunate set of circumstances made it so I simply had to get to 72. I couldn't keep those in my inventory without being able to equip them. Physically incapable.

I hit 73 on accident. Before Dynamis one night, I joined a manaburn to pre-empt the xp I knew I was going to lose. That turned out to be the smoothest run DivineAlliance has ever had. Got 73 and Northlands access in one fell swoop.

And since I was only 2 levels away from 75...what was the point in stopping again?

73-74 was cake. I burned it with Tibbetts, Tonard, Mathhew and Exil. If you've never experienced at Chain 14 with a manaburn before...you should. Do it now.

74-75...

Yeah. This is where the story starts.

Seraphicradienc>> You're never going to hit 75.
Seraphicradienc>> You'll be 74 forever.
>>Seraphicradienc : Is that a challenge?
Seraphicradienc>> If you want it to be
>>Seraphicradienc : You watch. By the time you log tomorrow, I'll be 75.
Seraphicradienc>> Uh-huh.
>>Seraphicradienc : ...

TIME TRIAL!

Immediately, I warped to Al Zahbi and started to LFG. Shortly after, I got an invite from Dayz, a friend of mine. /sea all Dayz, pld/nin.

...

Whatever. Xp is xp.

Three hours and 9k later, I had officially eaten my own words. I slept a link for our White Mage, and as I was running back to my back line spot, another fly popped and linked with the link. I was out of mp, stoneskin fell, and I couldn't sleep it due to interruptions. My party sat there and watched me get taken down inch by inch without ever lifting a finger to help me.

Accepted the R3, showed them what a lifted finger looks like, and warped home.

At this point, I considered giving up and letting Seraph win his challenge. But there was some little flea behind my left ear egging me on. 'It's only 3 AM, you can get 20k in 3 hours easily. That last party was a lemon. Go for it. Put up the flag...put up the flag, damnit!'

Sigh.

I got an invite within 15 minutes. Not bad, considering the time it was here in the good ol' U S of A. And that party went very, very well, I must say. Boring as all fuck though, because I hardly speak any Japanese. It's all greek to me.

But, you have to consider the fact that I'm Slaneyder, and my luck, it's been proven, is absolutely horrendous.

One thing led to another...

Which lead to me discovering that, although Wamoura princes don't aggro, they link like a fucking conga line on speed.

I was literally ready to cry. 6 hours...2.5k tnl if I homepointed. Frustrated to the core, pissed at my past two parties for sucking and being dicks respectively, and clearly taking it out on the wrong people.

Randomrdm>> R1?
>>Randomrdm : (Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass.)

I just sat there staring at my screen. There's no way I was going to sit there and solo nearly 3k xp, and there's no way I was going to join another party to get it. I was exhausted from working that day, and I'd been up for nearly 24 hours.

Just as I was about to accept the fact that I was going to have to homepoint, I saw the greatest sysmes ever.

Randomwhm starts casting Raise III on Slaneyder.

Wha...?

Randomwhm>> I'm Randomrdm's friend. ^^
>>Randomwhm : Oh my God, if you weren't a bunch of pixels, I'd tumble you right now.
Randomwhm>> w

Game on, bitches.

Scynscapa, in all of his worldly benevolence, showed up to help me burn the last 600 tnl. I dc'ed once, and logged again to find him grinning and chainsleeping the mob I'd pulled.

Damned Spoony Bards.

Tibbetts showed up too. Probably my best two friends in the game baring Seraph...it was really touching that they cared enough to help me out at 5 AM. Especially considering Tibbs had just ended an 11 hour shift.



Tibbs, Scyn, Seraph...the three of you are the best friends a girl could ask for. I love the three of you to absolute death.

Ride on fellas...ride on.